Introduction

DOES YOUR ATTENTION PAY?

Are you tired of constantly being busy but not productive?

Do you run from one meeting to the next, yet never feel like you achieve results?

Do you feel overwhelmed, overstressed, and overtired?

Are your personal and professional lives suffering because you can't devote quality time and attention to either?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone.

For more than 15 years, I've worked with leaders and professionals in a multitude of industries. Almost every client I work with lists these same concerns within minutes of our first meeting. They all have something else in common, too—the desire to move past their overwhelmed, overstressed, and overtired existence and lead a more fulfilled, productive, and intentional life.

Do you want that, too?

I think most of us do. Yet that possibility seems forever out of reach in a world that constantly demands more from us. It's frustrating when we feel like we work so hard to create a lifestyle for the people we love, and yet we aren't getting enough time with those we care about.

Many clients share with me that they don't feel valued at work, and some share they feel the same at home. That makes my heart sad. I want to fix that, and that is the driving force behind my work and this book.

My clients also tell me they simply don't have enough time in the day to “get it all done.” Can you relate? If so, I will give you the same tough love I give my clients:

You don't have a time management crisis; you have an attention management crisis.

In my work, I show leaders how to be highly productive and achieve lasting work‐life integration. (I don't believe in the work‐life balance myth! More on that later.) It seems there is one fundamental characteristic that too many of today's leaders are lacking: the ability to give their undivided attention to whom and what matters most at that moment.

I'm not talking half‐hearted, kinda listening, multitasking, doing something on your phone attention. I mean deliberate, fully present, look‐them‐in‐the‐eye type of attention.

I see this same attention crisis everywhere I look—in our homes, in our workplaces, in our communities. We think we're paying attention but we're not. As individuals, professionals, and communities, our genuine engagement has dramatically declined. Our attention is being wasted—stolen by technology, constant interruptions, and our own habits.

We have become an attention‐deficit society.

We now accept distracted as the norm. We are so focused on technology, our never‐ending to‐do list, and our lack of time, we fail to pay attention to the people, priorities, and passions that are truly important to us. We are more connected than any time in history and yet more disconnected from ourselves, from each other, from our work, and from our world than ever before.

You know what I am talking about. I know you see it, too. No one truly pays attention anymore.

THE COSTS OF INATTENTION

You might be sitting there thinking, “Really? Attention? Is it that important?”

Yeah, actually it is.

As you'll discover in Chapter 1, the cost of our inattention is real and the consequences are enormous. And I don't mean just financial costs. There are tangible personal, professional, and societal costs to our individual and collective lack of attention.

At a personal level, our health, our relationships, and our opportunities for career advancement suffer significantly when we don't give thoughtful attention to ourselves and the people we care about most. Professionally, lack of attention has a dramatic negative impact on our productivity, employee engagement, sales, and bottom‐line results. Globally, our carelessness has led to irreparable harm to our natural resources, plant and animal species, and the planet itself.

The price we are paying for our inattention is far too great.

You get just one life to lead. How do you want to spend that life? Overwhelmed, overstressed, and overtired? Or joyful, productive, and attentive? Are you squandering the amazing talents and skills you possess because you can't stay focused at work? We have only one planet to care for. What kind of legacy and world are we leaving to our grandchildren?

You may think you are paying attention, but are you giving intentional attention? You may think you are doing work that matters, but maybe you're not. You may think you make people feel like they matter, but do they really?

It's not that we don't want to pay attention. We really are trying.

• We believe connecting with friends and family through social media creates authentic, meaningful connections.
• We think survival by multitasking is our only option.
• We are trying to be all things to all people.
• We feel that we have to be accessible to everyone all the time.
• We create mindfulness programs at work.
• We go to time‐management training programs.
• We create never‐ending to‐do lists.
• We spend more time prioritizing our to‐do lists than actually doing our to‐do lists!
• We try new fancy planners.
• We download the latest app.
• We color code our calendars.
• We read anything we can get our hands on about how to get it all done.

And yet, we still feel frustrated.

We are missing something when it comes to understanding attention.

INTENTION IS WHAT MAKES ATTENTION VALUABLE

Have you ever thought about the value of paying attention?

Attention sometimes gets a bad rap in today's society. Perhaps that is because we've come to associate the concept of attention with unrelenting selfies that scream look at me and the constant sharing of every detail of one's life on social media. That is not the type of attention I am talking about. The type of attention I want to share with you in this book is the intentional attention that will help you show up as the best version of yourself in all roles in your life.

We all want and need attention. It's one of our most basic human desires. From our earliest moments as infants, our most basic needs of food, shelter and nurturing are provided by our parents' attention. As adults, the love and acceptance we all crave is granted by others' attention to us.

We don't all need the same kind of attention. It doesn't even have to be a lot of attention—just attention from the people who are important to us. We want to feel that we are the center of somebody's attention, even if we don't want to be the center of everybody's attention.

Attention is critical in our jobs, too. We need focused attention from our leaders and our employees to get work done, to achieve results, to succeed. Our customers and our teams need attention, too. People want to be seen and heard and know that their concerns are being addressed.

Attention is not optional; it's vital. It is attention that drives the results we all want and need.

Perhaps this is why we hear all the time, “Pay attention!” Our parents told us to pay attention. Our teachers told us to pay attention. We tell our kids to pay attention. It's a valuable life lesson.

The issue is that most of us are giving distracted, unfocused attention (like texting while having a conversation). That kind of attention is worthless. It sends the message that the focus of our attention has little real value, meaning, or importance to us.

Intention is what makes attention valuable.

Intentional attention is active. It involves seeing, hearing, and thinking about who is with you and what needs your focus right now. It requires us to choose consciously, act deliberately, and invest transformationally with our attention. That is the essence of Attention Pays—intentionally investing your attention in what matters at the moment: the people you are talking to, the priorities you are acting on, and the passions you are pursuing.

Just as you must first invest your money before you can expect any return, you have to first give attention in order to receive the benefits. We have to give attention to get attention. How can you manage and invest your attention so that it pays? That is the question we are going to answer in this book.

Now before you start thinking this is a narcissistic, hedonistic book about how you can manipulate others to get what you want, just stop. Attention Pays is not about giving to get. Giving others the authentic, deliberate attention they need is transformational—for them and for you. When you meet others' needs, yours will naturally be met, too.

When you give the people, priorities, and passions in your life your undivided attention, in the moment, you reap lasting rewards. When companies give attention first to their team members, clients, and customers, they get the attention they want and need for their products and services. This is not because they are trying to manipulate, but because they stand out among their competitors. And when we give the planet our committed attention, we ensure it will take care of us in the future.

Intentional attention is a gift—one you give the people in your world, and one you give yourself.

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